If you do it, if you say it after all this time
I’ll be surprised
If you carry, carry on without a crack
I won’t look back
There’s a part of me that wants to see you mad
Wishes you were hurting, wants you unglued
But you’re making your way in stride
I’m just sore that I can’t be you
If you never ever have to speak out loud
What you couldn’t allow
Maybe I could be the no one you’ve ever crossed
The no one you lost
There’s a part of me that wants to see you stop,
And take off the game face you wear every day
And see your stoic routine break down
Helpless and heartsick that I’m not around
There’s a part of me that wants to see you falter
Stumble on your words, and line by line
Come unraveled as you play me a song
About how you’ve loved me all this time
There may never be a place for me to say
All I have sung
If you marry another I’ll be okay
‘Cause then it’s all done
And the years will pass along all right –
Perhaps a bit less lovely than they might
Have been
Copyright 2009, 2015 Rachel Zylstra